07 March 2006

some fears, then they got resolved...

Ok, for a little while I have had this niggling feeling at the back of me about Canada. I haven't been able to work out what it is about until today. This is it: See I have come back to Brisbane from Sydney and as soon as I arrived I knew I didn't feel like I Brisbane was home anymore. I wasn't returning home, I was just passing through. And then I went to my church on Sunday, and while it felt like ICW (which I love), it didn't feel like it was "my" church anymore. It was a place that I love, but it wasn't my home anymore. And so I am heading off to Canada. To this place that I have been to, but don't really know. And in me it feels like home, but I wonder, do I know it well enough to know this? I don't think I really do. And the thing is, I believe that even if it doesn't feel like home I am meant to stay there. What if I arrive and Van isn't home either. Then I have no home, and I'm halfway round the world. Somehow I think if I was to have no home, I would rather be in Brisbane. At least here I have lots of people that I know very well and we have history and we understand each other. Some of these people I have known all my life. Ain't no one in Canada I've known all my life. And it is funny cos I just took a break from writing this, and God just spoke to me, and I realised, it doesn't matter where I go, because home is in the arms of my Dad. And wherever He is, then I am home. Thankfully He is everywhere, so I can never be where it is not home. Because He will be there. And if I can't see Him at first I will find Him, and He has promised me that I will. Funny how when you face something head on it can be overcome quite quickly. God is good. So I am going home, and it will be home because He will be there! Wow, three days, I can't wait!

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