Frustration
On one hand today was a good day. We went and shared with people at a church about what happens with VUM. Then we had people risk us as well. It was good and fun. But also tiring.But in the end I would say it hasn't been a good day, just because of how I am feeling. I am frustrated and it's weird because I realise that I had forgotten how much my face tells how much I am feeling and then I realised that I don't have the ability to hide my face anymore. I used to be able to, but I don't seem to be able to do it anymore. I think it comes from getting practiced at being transparent, which is a good thing, but it is frustrating when you don't feel like talking to people. I also can't hide because too many people ask me how I am and actually wait for a real answer. And I never answer without it being true so I haven't been able to hide. On one level I'm grateful for that, but I don't really feel like talking about how I am at the moment, so it doesn't always make it easy. I kind of maybe have an idea of what I need to do to resolve it, but I'm not sure. I keep trying to do the bringing it to God, but it doesn't feel like it's working. Maybe because I actually need to give it to Him and I don't feel like doing that at the moment. Which means that I keep trying to do it my way. Hmm, maybe that's why it doesn't work. We'll see what happens.
posted by bec @ 9:57 pm
1 Comments:
:( Of course, you can always tell people that you are not good, but that you don't feel like it is beneficial to talk about specifics at the moment... or that you have someone in mind to speak to... lately, I have told people that I don't really want to talk about things purely because I know that it is about me and God... Love and *hugs*
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